Title.

Bryce Mainville 


Old Man Trouble 


"A Very Strange Thing This Is Indeed," said Old Man Trouble to me,

Concerning a subject most morose, sitting in a bar were we.

"There’s Too Much Jive Talk In This Place," he grumbled and graveled out loud,

Tending to talk in all capital letters, his word gets quickly around.

"Let’s Blow This Joint My Happenin’ Man," he uttered on over towards me,

And stood like a titan up from his chair, I couldn’t help but simply agree.

"Hold on for a second there Old Man Trouble," you haven’t paid your tab yet,

Squeaked the ancient bartender encircled by bouncers, I prayed that I might not get stabbed.

"Fuck That Noise!" roared Old Man Trouble, and made a great stride for the door,

I lagged behind nearly bent over double, hoping to avoid all the gore.

"Get him now!" screamed the old barkeep, and the bouncers attacked in a wave,

"You're Shit Outta Luck!" bellowed Old Man Trouble, ready to cause some craniums to cave.

The destruction was rampant – damn near Biblical - as Old Man Trouble fought on,

As he hurled a poor fool through a metal grated window, I figured we'd hang at dawn.

But the bouncers were beaten, battered and pulped, by my trench-coated colossus of a chum,

So I dashed my ass over to the nearest exit, hopin’ we'd just be mistaken for bums.

A few blocks away I slowed down in my flight, and from behind Old Man Trouble came running,

"You See The Way I Fucked Up Those Instigators?" He guffawed with a pose – an attempt to look mighty and cunning.

"I see the way you caused a damn riot," I coughed with a throat full of phlegm,

"The way you started that damned tirade, your really no better than them."

"Listen Up Little Man," he said with a snarl, bending over to reach my level,

"If You Wanna Accuse Folks Of Bein’ Messed Up, Go Talk To Some Cat Like The Devil."

Just then down the lane came lights-a-flashing, and over a stone wall did scatter,

Old Man Trouble, quick as can be, leaving me alone for that matter.

So as red and blue came swinging on over, I stood there too tired to flee,

Why does it seem that when Trouble comes calling, there’s nobody here but me.