Fishing for Debate
John Mahon
“I wish you’d stop that,” she said.
“Why?” he asked
“You could kill a fish.”
“So what? Fish don’t have nerve endings, so they can’t really feel.”
“How would you know? You’re not a fish.”
“It’s biology. They can’t feel. That’s why some vegetarians will eat fish. They know it doesn’t hurt them to be killed.”
“I don’t believe it. Besides, Amy didn’t eat fish.”
“Amy was never a real vegetarian.”
“Oh, and why not?”
“Going a week without eating meat shouldn’t qualify anyone as a vegetarian.”
“You make it sound that way to fit your point of view. If I said that Amy stopped eating meat until the moment she died, all of a sudden things start looking better for my argument.”
“It’s semantics. Besides, unless you’re chewing down on a steak while you’re in the middle of dying, you could say that about anybody. Your argument fails.”
“It’s what was in her heart. You know she was into it for real. My Dad was trying to persuade her all the time and she never backed down. Stop that!”
“I told you that they can’t feel. Mr. Jackson taught us that. You don’t know anything about science.”
“I know more about science than you do. In fact, I know you’re wrong about fish because I once did a report on them, so youare wrong.”
“Even if that is true, a teacher told me fish can’t feel so you can’t really say I am wrong.”
“That makes no sense. Just because someone misinformed you it doesn’t mean that you are right for repeating what they say.”
“That’s not what you said when you killed Amy.”
“Shut up.”
“Well, it’s true. You said that because your parents told you it was okay that she didn’t wear her arm floaties that you weren’t responsible for her drowning, even though you were right there and told her she could go in the pool without them. You always said that you did nothing wrong. You always said you were just listening to your parents. If you want to call me wrong for listening to my teacher, you are also calling yourself a killer for listening to your parents. It’s all about following a consistent train of logic.”
“Do you realize how incredibly insensitive you are.”
“Yes.”
“So you admit you are an insensitive creep?”
“No.”
“Oh my God, you just said you admitted you are insensitive and now you change your mind?!”
“No, you asked me if I realize how insensitive I am. I do realize how insensitive I am, which is not insensitive at all. Please explain how I contradicted myself.”
“Whatever, I’m sick of this debating. You just pull trivial arguments out of thin air so you can always feel like you’re right. I’ll be the bigger person. You win. Happy now?”
“Yes.”
One last rock splashed into the surface of the pond.
“Stop that! I thought we established that fish can feel?”
“You said I wasn’t wrong.”
“Why?” he asked
“You could kill a fish.”
“So what? Fish don’t have nerve endings, so they can’t really feel.”
“How would you know? You’re not a fish.”
“It’s biology. They can’t feel. That’s why some vegetarians will eat fish. They know it doesn’t hurt them to be killed.”
“I don’t believe it. Besides, Amy didn’t eat fish.”
“Amy was never a real vegetarian.”
“Oh, and why not?”
“Going a week without eating meat shouldn’t qualify anyone as a vegetarian.”
“You make it sound that way to fit your point of view. If I said that Amy stopped eating meat until the moment she died, all of a sudden things start looking better for my argument.”
“It’s semantics. Besides, unless you’re chewing down on a steak while you’re in the middle of dying, you could say that about anybody. Your argument fails.”
“It’s what was in her heart. You know she was into it for real. My Dad was trying to persuade her all the time and she never backed down. Stop that!”
“I told you that they can’t feel. Mr. Jackson taught us that. You don’t know anything about science.”
“I know more about science than you do. In fact, I know you’re wrong about fish because I once did a report on them, so youare wrong.”
“Even if that is true, a teacher told me fish can’t feel so you can’t really say I am wrong.”
“That makes no sense. Just because someone misinformed you it doesn’t mean that you are right for repeating what they say.”
“That’s not what you said when you killed Amy.”
“Shut up.”
“Well, it’s true. You said that because your parents told you it was okay that she didn’t wear her arm floaties that you weren’t responsible for her drowning, even though you were right there and told her she could go in the pool without them. You always said that you did nothing wrong. You always said you were just listening to your parents. If you want to call me wrong for listening to my teacher, you are also calling yourself a killer for listening to your parents. It’s all about following a consistent train of logic.”
“Do you realize how incredibly insensitive you are.”
“Yes.”
“So you admit you are an insensitive creep?”
“No.”
“Oh my God, you just said you admitted you are insensitive and now you change your mind?!”
“No, you asked me if I realize how insensitive I am. I do realize how insensitive I am, which is not insensitive at all. Please explain how I contradicted myself.”
“Whatever, I’m sick of this debating. You just pull trivial arguments out of thin air so you can always feel like you’re right. I’ll be the bigger person. You win. Happy now?”
“Yes.”
One last rock splashed into the surface of the pond.
“Stop that! I thought we established that fish can feel?”
“You said I wasn’t wrong.”
